


Buried in Broken Dreams

by angelwriter, Chaoticsoul



Series: Alec Hardy & Bill Masters : Buried in Broken Dreams [1]
Category: Broadchurch, Masters of Sex
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Broken Engagement, Crossover, Dark Past, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Investigations, M/M, Murder, Sex, Suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2020-09-23 22:55:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20348179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelwriter/pseuds/angelwriter, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaoticsoul/pseuds/Chaoticsoul
Summary: Alec shuddered as this intense revelation exploded into him. His mind fuzzed out and his body rolled with waves of nerves and heat. Alec knew it had just happened and now the more he thought about it the more he knew it to be true. You really could not help who you were attracted to or who you developed romantic feelings for. Alec Hardy was now completely aware of his feelings for Bill Masters. His throat closed up and his hands wrang together. What the fuck was he going to do now?





	1. Murder Mystery

**Author's Note:**

> So my original idea was to have a soft fic of Detective Investigator Alec Hardy with Fertility Doctor Bill Masters. But it had come to my attention there was an issue with how they are supposed to meet since they are from two different worlds. I owe credit to my sibling (Twitter: @penguiqueen AO3: Chaoticsoul ) who suggested that Bill's wife gets murdered and DI Alec is on the case.
> 
> I have written this book with said sibling upon her request to join forces of her love for David Tennant and Michael Sheen merged with her writing and mine. I owe it to her to showcase her work here so here is our novel.

DI Alec Hardy from Broadchurch (My Immortal - Evanescence) 

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, I held your hand through all of these years and you still have all of me"

Dr Bill Masters from Masters of Sex (Two Feet - Had Some Drinks) 

"I had some drinks and said some things to you. If I said too much I know you're mine to lose." 

***

[ Alec Hardy x Bill Masters ] 

Bill pursed his lips. The phone was ringing non-stop outside of his office and no one was picking it up. He moved his white coat sleeves back and looked at his watch. AJ, his secretary and assistant, was out on lunch. He gave a heavy sigh and slipped his glasses off, putting it on the desk. He stood up and walked out of his office into the reception area. The roon space was bigger than his previous one at the hospital where he had worked at for twenty years. The phone was still ringing as he came to pick up the receiver. 

His voice was tried and slightly irritated as he spoke. "Doctor Bill Masters, Memorial Hospital, Fertility ward. Who is speaking?" 

"Is this Bill Masters?" The male voice replied. 

Bill almost rolled eyes. "Speaking."

"Hello Doctor, we are sorry to disturb you at work, but it's your wife. We need you to come to your residence immediately."

"May I ask what is wrong with her, officer?" Concern knitted his brows. 

"She was murdered, sir." 

Detective Investigator Alec Hardy strutted around the infamous Dr. Bill Masters's home looking for clues on how Mrs Masters was killed. The house was well-kept. Almost too clean for Alec's opinion. He supposed Bill Masters being a doctor and all was a bit of a neat freak. Inside the main bedroom the clothes in the cupboard was all colour coded and his shirts (all white) on one side was neatly ironed and hanging up. It surprised Alec to find two separate single beds in the main bedroom. The other room was a nursery. Alec whipped out his notebook, stuck the cap of his pen in his mouth and scribbled down that the relationship between Mr and Mrs Masters may be strained. Alec headed out of the bedroom and in the lounge, he saw police huddled around a man in a grey suit. The body of Mrs Masters was covered with a white sheet and she lying on the carpeted floor, red staining the brown fibres. Alec walked over to the man in the suit. 

"Detective Hardy," he introduced himself, his Scottish accent getting him a confused look from Doctor Masters. "Can I ask you a few questions?" 

"Sure." He tugged on his bowtie and straightened it out. 

"There are no signs of a forced entry. Is there anyone you know besides yourself that has access to your house. We want to rule out suspects." 

Bill kept his hands in front of him, his expression unreadable. "Libby never had many friends..." He glanced towards her body and Alec could see the realisation sinking into him. Bill swallowed hard before continuing. "Maybe the gardener, she had a caretaker fix the roof the previous week. The nanny of course. Uh. I don't know." 

"You don't know who had a possible motive to kill your wife?" Alec wrote down the list of suspects Bill mentioned, but it wasn't much to go on. 

"As far as I know she kept to herself. I'm at work the whole day and I do my research papers at night until late. I have no idea who she invites over." 

His tone was distressed, rushed in exasperation. His blue eyes darted around, his hands clenched together in front of him. 

"Dr. Masters, I know this is a different time for you. I need to catch your wife's killer. If you remember or have any other information give me a call." 

He said it without an ounce of sympathy. Alec was not a grief counsellor. He preferred his clients maintain a distant and professional relationship with him. He handed Bill his card and went to talk to the forensic pathologist that was busy clearing the body away on a gurney for analysis. Bill started after the body was cleared at the blood stains on the carpet. Although he had the itch the wipe it clean it, even after 3 days when the maid came, he had asked her to leave it. He just kept staring at it; almost like a reminder he had that she was gone. He wouldn't believe it otherwise.

10 years married to Libby. 10 years her wanting more from him than he could give. 10 years wanting a child. And when he could not give her a child, she went behind his back and got Invitro without his consent. Bloody Ethan who had worked with him at his previous hospital. That was one of the reasons why he left. Ethan collected Bill's sperm and gave her the son she always wanted, she thought a baby would help Bill become better. It only made him decline further into his work to avoid her and the baby. 

There was an undeniable sense of relief in the quietness of the house now. The baby was staying at his mother's. It was only him. He would not go as far to say he was happy she was dead, but if he was honest with himself he was not that sad either. He sat for an entire week after 4 am in his gown with his drink in his hand, wondering who killed her. Wondering what the hell she had done to someone for them to kill her. After everything Bill had gone through, he was surprised he was not the one to kill her himself. 

*

A week went by and Alec had no evidence. Literally no suspects. Not one. She really did not have any friends and did not help that her own husband did not even know her. Still he was the only real tie to figuring out this case. It was 7 PM when Alec arrived at Dr. Masters house. 

"D.I. Alec Hardy. You remember me?" 

"Yes, I do. Would you like to come in and have a drink with me?" 

Alec felt guilty to decline and he needed a drink anyway. He stepped inside, Bill leading him into the kitchen. A man such as Bill held in esteem made Alec admire him for his achievements. He got along with him surprisingly and that was why he sat down in the low light of the kitchen drinking through whatever bottles Bill could find. They were well past their third bottle when Bill began complimenting his freckles. 

"I never noticed before," said Bill. "You have multiple blemishes on your nose and cheeks just under your eyes." 

Alec raised his brow at him which Bill replied with a strange giggle, his shoulders wiggling happily. 

"You're drunk, aren't you?" Alec laughed but it was strained. 

"I guess I am." 

He swallowed down the dryness in his throat. "I am not that drunk. What do you normally do when you're drunk?" 

"I mainly talk about feelings I wish I didnt have." 

"Oh. Suppression. Ya. I do that too." 

"Why do we always hide ourselves from showing affection and then when our defences are down that's when we finally say what we mean."

"I think it's easier that way. Cause then you can blame it on something. Blame it on the alcohol." He looked away and sipped his drink.

"Hmm. Blame. But we can't blame emotions on genetics. It's scientific and we always base evidence on scientific facts that are always accurate. But emotions.... they are unpredictable. They are often out of our control. Maybe that is why we find it so difficult to have emotions. We don't like giving up control." 

Alec clenched his fingers tightly around the glass. His jaw locked into place. 

"So it's all about control?" He asked although Alec knew what he was talking about. 

He had always struggled with control over his life. Like Bill he invested himself into his work, breaking up relationships with his family and friends. His line of work was always different but there were rules, regulations, patterns, procedures to follow. That kept him sane almost. Different killers, same outcome. 

"I am not practiced in psychotherapy, but I have noted that certain people who lack control in the past seek to exercise control in every aspect of their lives." 

"Sounds like you know." It was a statement. Factual. Alec did not know how to continue this conversation without opening up. 

"Don't you?" 

Alec breathed in deeply and closed his eyes. Remnants of his past scattered through his tired mind. "I know," he said softly. 

He downed the last of his glass and flicked his tongue across his lips. He cleared his throat and then finally looked at Bill again. Bill was watching him. His expression unreadable and there was this note of concern etched into his eyes. Neither of them said anything for a long time. Alec stared at his hands in front of him wondering how he ended up telling Bill Masters that he wanted control. Needed control. If he was anyone else he would have studied Alec. Bill did not say anything or even look like he was trying to figure out why. Surprisingly he was both uneasy and comforted by that fact. Uneasy because no one had ever not tried to figure out why he was the way he was and comforted because Bill might be the only one who let him be. 

"It's late," Bill finally said. "You don't want to drive home too late."

"Do you even know what time it is?" 

Bil furrowed his brows and craned his head to look at the clock in the kitchen. The time showed four minutes past two in the morning. Bill sat back in his chair and nodded. "Do you want to stay until morning-" 

"It is morning." 

Bill huffed. "I know. I was being polite. I meant when the sun rises." 

"What? You don't want me to drive at night? Not safe?" 

"Yes. You're drunk." 

"I'm not that drunk." 

Bill held a small smile because Alec slurred a little, his Scottish accent thicker and more difficult to understand. His voice was deeper in the early morning. Alec combed his hand through his hair. He twirled his chestnut tendrils, swirling it around his fingers and looking up to the ceiling. 

"I never stayed over at someone's house before. Besideess Ellie." 

"Who's Ellie?" 

"My...my...my friend. Guess I do have a friend. One friend. You dont have any friends but I have one." 

"I have colleagues." 

"CoLEAgues! My colleagues call me shitface. What do yer colleagues call ya?" 

Bill pressed his lips together in amusement. He was losing it a bit now. "Well I had some at the previous hospital I was at. I was fired because of my sex study." 

Aled downed another glass and perked up. "Sex study?" 

"Yes, a study of human sexual response under certain stimuli." 

"What kind of stimuli? Never heard of this kind of thing. Sex is sex, isn't it?" 

Bill leaned in, getting excited to talk about his life's work. "It isn't, that's the point. We actually know nothing about sex. I intend to find scientific evidence and data about how we respond during sexual intercourse and mastibation." 

"How are yer gonna do that?" His eyebrows raised and his voice was getting louder the more he drank. 

"I already started my study several months ago with my assistant, A.J. Stiles. We have collected a significant amount of data. My colleagues did not find my presentation admirable and they kicked me out. Memorial Hospital has been kind enough to fund my study while I work there, but my job as a Fertility Doctor has somewhat plummeted as I am not getting the respect I once had." 

"How did you collect data?" 

"I observed a number of participants-" 

"You what!?!?" Bill blinked back at him. "That's kind of like pornography!" 

"It's for science," he sighed in irritation. 

"That's what everyone says! It's for science, to learn!" 

"But it is. How much do you really know about the female body during sex? Or the refractory time of a flaccid penis?" 

"Uh...I haven't really thought about that. My job doesn't really require that kind of...information." 

"Everyone should be able to understand sex and what it means. How their bodies work. It should be common knowledge and compulsory to learn about sex in a comprehensive way. I intend to provide those facts with my research." 

"Did your wife know about this?" Alec suddenly asked. 

"She did. She found it interesting." 

"I don't know how many wives would agree to that." 

"It was for work. Libby shouldn't keep me from my success. I didn't need her permission." 

"You were watching other people have sex! Surely that would play on your partner's mind. Whether you're cheating or not." 

"I have never had an affair." Bill's bottom lip stuck out in annoyance. 

"Sorr' just askin'." Alec felt his head start to spin. 

"What about you? You don't have a wife? You wouldn't understand the reality of my situation then. I provided her with a home. Clothes. Food. And all she wanted was a child I never wanted in the first place." 

Bill was mostly ranting to himself, but those words pieced like a knife into Alec. His eyelids fluttered closed, visions flickering like a film in his mind. It was only once he felt the wetness on his face that he realised he was crying. Bill was entirely confused. He was not one for giving comfort anymore than he was willing to receive it. He felt like he had to touch Alec though. He did not understand this desire to stop this man from crying. 

"Alec?" Bill whispered, placing a gentle hand onto his shoulder. 

At the sudden contact, Alec jerked away. He sucked in a breath and opened his eyes. He furiously wiped the tears away and got out of the chair. Bill watched as he headed for the front door. 

"Thank you," he said and left. 

Bill did not hear his car start and thought maybe he was going to sleep in his car until daybreak. Once Bill retired to the couch, he kept thinking about what he had said that made Alec cry.


	2. Confused Indulges

Alec's neck was throbbing from the way he slept. The car was freezing, the windows covered over with dew and mist. He huddled in his suit jacket, his arm crossed over his chest. The birds had already begun their song. When there was a knock on the window. He forgot himself and swore as he unlocked the door. Bill was standing there in a crisp blue suit with a checkered bowtie holding a cup of coffee. 

"Thought you might want some breakfast. I have muffins inside if you want." 

Alec furrowed his brow at his sudden hospitality. He probably felt guilty about what happened last night even though it wasn't his fault. Alec mentally scolded himself for crying in some stranger's presence. 

"Thanks," Alec replied and climbed out of the car. He cracked his neck and Bill handed him the coffee. 

Alec did not mention that didn't drink coffee that he actually was an avid tea drinker. He followed Bill back into his house reluctantly. Just as he said there were muffins set out on the table. There was jam and salted butter too. 

"You really didnt have to go to this trouble to feed me." 

"It's not an issue or trouble. Sit down." Bill sat on the chair and slipped on his glasses to read the morning paper. 

Alec sat down wearily and felt a little irritated by the seriousness of his tone. He set the coffee down and looked at the muffins. He rarely ate. He had two meals a week if that. When he was working a case he did not stop for anything. No matter how slow it was going. This was the slowest case he had ever worked on, he thought, no fucking leads. Back home, he always made sure Ellie ate. Even if he was dying from starvation he would demand she ate. It was rather strange to have that done to him now. It was remarkable how similar they actually were. 

"Aren't you going to eat?" Bill eyed him from the top of his newspaper. 

Alec gulped. "Yeah okay. Thanks." 

He took a muffin out of the tray and brought a small plate in front of him. He cut open the muffin and spread it with some butter. He was hyper aware that Bill was watching him. He took his first bite and very nearly moaned as he did so. He had no idea how hungry he actually was. He didn't show how pleasant the food was on his face as he finished two muffins by the time Bill had drank his coffee. He was quite satisfied with the meal. He hadn't felt that way in a long time. Bill folded his newspaper neatly and put his glasses away. He cleared the breakfast table and took away Alec's untouched coffee to the sink. 

"I will be at work today, but you may come round at 5 PM to discuss the case more with me. I will make supper." 

Alec opened his mouth then shut it again. He nodded. Bill picked up his briefcase and car keys, motioning for Alec to get out of the house so he can lock up. He was so different when he was drunk. He was more relaxed, looser, open. Then again so was Alec. Except Alec took to fucking crying from emotional suppression. Alec hated himself for him that. Bill was orderly, structured...in control. It made Alec feel somewhat comforted to know he was not the only nutcase in town. Both Alec and Bill had their demons. That was why they could enjoy each other's company. Their demons could play well together. That was a miracle if Alec ever knew one. It was the only reason Alec turned up at Bill's house at exactly five. 

He had kind of...maybe made an acquaintance out of Bill. Bill made chicken roast and although Alec's stomach had shrunk over time, he ate what he could. They had a few glasses of wine with their meal. They spoke and discussed the case amongst other topics. Hours after their meal Bill went into the kitchen to boil the kettle. He came back with steaming cup of brewed tea. Alec stared down at the mug in front of him. 

Bill raised his brow. "I thought you don't drink coffee." 

It sounded like a statement. He noticed. Alec placed the warm cup in hands and tasted the tea. If this wasn't the best tea he ever had. Alec moaned inside his head. He still kept his smile in check. He couldn't let on how much he enjoyed Bill's food and drinks and conversation. He didn't want him to think anything of it. Friends. Alec never had friends. He couldn't afford to think of Bill that way. Who knew how he might destroy him. 

"So your sex study?" Alec brought up the topic again. At least this time he was sober. 

"Hm. What about it?" 

"What is your focus? Your objective in all this?"

Bill drank his coffee and a small smile played on his lips. "Would you like to read my research?" 

Alec nodded in agreement. This had sparked his interest. Bill brought Alec his briefcase and opened up a secret compartment where he hid his research files. They stood at the counter reading under the light of the kitchen. Folders were arranged in order of when the study took place. There were graphs and tables and time frames. All the data collected helped prove something that Bill desperately wanted to although Alec was quite sure that Bill did not even know himself what the end result of all this was. They discussed the acts Bill watched being performed, the excitement shown through the wild gestures of his hands. Bill was more passionate talking about sex than anyone he had ever seen. It was far more enjoyable than watching babies being born at least. It was getting late into the evening and Alec politely excused himself to leave. Bill walked him to the door. 

"So uh where are you staying?" 

"Oh. You know here and there."

Bill pouted in concern and placed his hands into his pockets. "So not anywhere really?" 

Alec did not respond. 

"There is a cold bed in my room. If you'd like a place to stay." 

Alec got the dark joke and let out a small suppressed giggle. Bill cocked his head to the side in bewilderment. 

"I will think about it." 

Alec stepped off the curb, his hands deep in the pocket of his jeans, as he headed to his car in the lamp lit


	3. Late Night Pleasures

The following morning Bill invited Alec in for breakfast. This become somewhat of a routine for them. It had been going on a week and Bill had almost forgot there was a case about his wife's murder on the line. He entered his office and hung his suit jacket on the rack and exchanged it for his long medical coat. His secretary came in just as he sat down by his desk. 

"So any news on the case? Have they caught the guy yet?" 

"No." Bill pretended to be preoccupied with the work. 

AJ nodded and stepped closer. "So no leads? At all? How bad is this cop then?" 

Bill turned to her with a hard look. "I think they are perfectly capable of finding my wife's killer. It's not easy when Libby stayed at home all the time. Could have been a complete stranger or a serial killer. Who knows? These things take time! You know that. Now stop asking me about it and read me my schedule for today." 

"Alright, Doc. You have three appointments in Fertility, three couples. One needs a third appointment for capping. The other two are just usual check ups. They have both giving birth some time late August. And you have another new client coming in at 2 PM today. Also the study - you have five lovely women who want to participate. I will set up a time after hours so you can do the interviews. Would you like Virginia to be there?" 

Miss Virginia Johnson was a single parent of two children and Bill's research associate with his study on Sexual response. They were thinking about writing a book together one day once they have collected enough data and samples to solidify their work. She was young and beautiful. Bill loved her companionship and she was such a dear friend to him. She challenged him in occasion and it was refreshing. 

"Yes. Thank you, AJ. That will be all for now." 

"Yes, Dr. Masters." 

She shut the door and the day went on as it usually did. He had his appointments, did capping on a woman who very much wanted to be pregnant and this was a way to ensure that she could get pregnant with a little help. He saw the new client and when it was 6 PM, he closed the shutters on the window in his office and took the secret folders out his safe where he kept his sex study files. Virginia, on time as always, came into the office and sat on the chair that AJ had set out for her before she went home. She took her spot behind the desk next to Bill. 

"I am terribly sorry to hear about your wife, Bill." 

"It's alright. I can cope." 

"I don't doubt that." She smiled. 

Her lips were a perfect shade of red. Her long black hair was kept neat in a bun with butterfly clips. She wore a slim burgundy dress with a black shawl. She always looked flawless. Presentable and professional just like Bill liked it. Her hands rested on her thighs that Bill noticed were just a tiny bit more exposed as she leaned her legs towards Bill. He eyed her curiously and then checked his watch. He still had fifteen minutes before the first volunteer for the study came in. 

Virginia took that as an agreement and placed her hands on his thighs, her fingers gently caressing it. 

"You must be so stressed. Does it get lonely, Bill?" 

The thing about Virginia was that she knew she had sex appeal and drive and what all men wanted with her outspokenness. She could make a man cripple with a mere look. With Bill it was purely for pleasure in their sexual activities and comfort in release. He had been doing this for two years now. Bill and his wife never had a sexual relationship and Virginia was kind enough to offer it. It was much needed also in a scientific sense for there was the case of transference where those watching sexual acts would most likely need to purge those acts. Bill and Virginia worked well together in every way. 

Bill breathed in deeply. "Yes..." 

Her hands rubbed his inner thigh. Her eyes lidded, her voice low. "Do you want me to taste you?" 

Bill's breath hitched in reply. Her hands cupped his growing hard on, she teased one finger over the bulge and watched with a sly smile as it twitched under her touch. She gingerly unzipped his pants and pulled him out. He stood at attention, thick and ready for her. It did not take much for him to get hard when he had been aching for release after the stress from his wife's death. Doing it himself just did not feel the same anymore. Not when he knew he had someone to take care of the problem. 

He knew it was unethical, but they both hid it under the rug as "part of the work". It was not an affair if it was for the study. 

Her small manicured hands came to stroke him slowly at first, then her mouth sucked at the tip and she swirled her tongue. She was good at it and he had grown used to her wonderful mouth sucking him off. His eyes closed instantly. When she took him fully into her mouth, he let his mind wander. He thought of all the stress leaving his body as a sort of meditation ritual. He eased himself from the ache in his limbs and replaced it with the silky feeling of heat flowing into his veins. His mind unwillingly brought up images. Flashes of all that he was worried about. He could understand that the work was important and that he would worry about its completion. But he was stunned to find his mind had turned to Alec Hardy. 

He saw his face. His scraggly beard, his bronze hair. His penetrating dark eyes. Penetrating. That was a new adjective he had not used before. Although that was the right word. He always looked like he was staring straight into him, as if he could bear into his soul and see what lay beneath. He understood Alec and respected him. The look Alec had of subtle appreciation of the meal he had made for him. It pleased him. Bill grunted as Virginia sucked harder. Alec's face was now stuck in his mind and he saw Alec's pink lips as he was eating the muffin he had made for him in the mornings. He had licked his fingers clean. 

Bill gripped Virginia's hair tightly, pushing her down as his hips bucked up harshly. She gagged a bit from his roughness. He knew she could take it, but he had never been so forceful before. His legs were shaking and he normally did not make any sounds during yet he could not swallow down the soft moans escaping his lips. He recalled the sounds of Alec licking his fingers. The wetness. A sliver of his tongue darting out. The tender look of his supple lips, pink and inviting....

"Oh God!" He groaned as he shot into her mouth. 

She pulled back and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She smirked and fixed her appearance. 

"Wow. I had no idea you were so eager!" 

Bill gave a shy smile and zipped himself up again, straightening his bowtie in a nervous habit. What the fuck was that? He questioned himself and scolded himself at the strangeness of the act that had just taken place. Had he come to the ministrations of Virginia's mouth? Or was it something else? Was what drove into that frenzy and passion something he could not dare to name? 

Could it be that he was attracted to a man?


	4. Off The Case

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe most of this wonderful writing to my co-writer. She has worked so hard with this. She deserves all the praise!

Bill knew that it was not right. The events of last night with Virginia that led to him unreasonably thinking of Alec was a cause of his worry for Alec rather than an attraction of a sexual nature. Bill could not have another sexual dysfunction. He already had a low sperm count and did not need to add homosexuality to the list. Bill never thought of it as anything wrong per say just that it was not common and it was categorised as a sexual dysfunction in "textbook terms". Bill did not have any problem accepting gay men or lesbians. 

In fact he was the only one who knew his boss was at his previous job, and his dear friend, Betty, was a lesbian. He detested the means of "curing" homosexuality and felt it had deterred from the path into modern day medicine which he was trying to achieve. His hope was to one day expand his research and go on to discover how to treat sexual dysfunction and that was of course where his study came in. Virginia had always been a woman who he was attracted to as both a friend and a sexual partner. This was the first time he had ever had any other thoughts whilst engaging in activities with her. 

Bill brushed it off as his concern for his new friend. Alec had happily agreed now to stay in his house for the time being. Bill had already bought a new bed and blankets for him. He cooked supper for Alec and waited for him to come home. He sat on his couch with a bourbon in his hand watching TV. Nothing was really keeping his interest, he just wanted something to do as so to not look like he was waiting around for Alec. He heard Alec's car pull up from outside and as Bill opened the front door, Alec collided with Bill. Bill felt Alec shaking. 

"Cold out there?" he said, teasingly. His smile faded when he heard ragged breathing and sniffles. "Alec? Hey..."

He lifted Alec's head off his shoulder. His brows furrowed as he took in Alec's red botched eyes, rosy cheeks and quivering lips. Bill ached. He realised that this was not the first time Bill had seen him cry and he felt a sense of responsibility for him because of Alec being so open with him. Bill cupped Alec's face and used the pads his fingers to wipe away the stray tears. Alec looked so vulnerable. It was slightly unnerving, but at the same time it made Bill realise how human Alec was despite his closed off demeanour. 

"What happened?" 

Bill's tone was hushed, too scared that any other tone would alarm the unstable man. Bill raised his hand which caused Alec to flinch slightly. Alec was aware how weak he must have looked and proceeded to retreat within himself. His eyes darted behind Bill, concentrating on the wall or anything which would distract himself. His hands which were still on Bill's waist when he had leaned in to hold him, played with the hem of his shirt subconsciously. Bill's hand which moved towards his hair caught Alec's attention. Bill moved slowly. His fingers dove into the tangle of uncombed hair and scratched at the scalp to soothe him. Alec let out a sigh. Bill had no idea why he did it. He felt compelled to. He watched as Alec visibly relaxed under his soft caress. 

Bill took the opportunity to pose a question again. "Is it work related?" 

Alec's hand made their way from Bill's waist to both his hands, trailing from the tops of Bill's shoulders following the length of his arms to rest at his hands that was cupping his face. Alec removed Bill's hands, but did not let his hands go and he kept them between his and Bill's respective bodies. He licked his dry lips and swallowed before finally answering. 

"I'm off the case." His voice was hoarse and Bill could barely understand. Alec's Scottish accent made it even harder to interpret what he had said. 

"Sorry? Repeat that please." 

Alec's mouth practically flew open as he was asked to repeat himself. "I'm off the case. They are sending in another Investigator next week for my case. I won't be able to help you anymore. Fucking bastards!" Venom dripped from Alec's mouth as he over exaggerated the vowels in the word 'bastard'. He was seething. 

He dropped Bill's hands, flailed his arms in the air. He walked towards the wall behind Bill and placed his one hand on it, took a deep breath and rested his head against the cool bricks. Bill's mouth was agape. Alec had shown his anger before, but never like that. 

"Will you have to go back to Broadchurch?" 

That was the question that had been clinging to Bill's cells since Alec first got assigned to the case. As they became closer Bill could not help the dark shadow of doubt that loomed over him whenever he thought about Alec having to leave once the case was closed. Bill stepped towards Alec's shaking body and gripped his shoulder. 

Alec let out a shaky breath, "I have two weeks to get back." 

Two weeks. That had two weeks left together. Two weeks left of whatever it was that they shared. Alec knew it. Bill knew it. If Alec left then their 'relationship' would be even more difficult than it already was. Bill was not prepared to have Alec leave before he figured it out. Otherwise he would spend the years after he left always wondering. 

"Alec, it's alright. There will be other cases. More interesting cases that are perfect for your capabilities. I'm sure--" Bill broke off as Alec interrupted him. 

"I don't want another case. It's my...Bill, it's your case. I can't let someone else take over. I can't not be there for you..." 

Alec turned around to face Bill and looked at him intently. Once Alec started a case he had to see it through, but what made the nagging feeling of not being able to finish the case worse was that it became personal. It was a simple thing that detectives and investigators and even lawyers learn: do not get involved! But that was exactly what Alec had done. He had gotten involved. 

"We'll work it out. I'll talk to some people and we'll...we'll sort it out. You look exhausted, Alec. Get some rest."


	5. Unrest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we are back again with this pairing! Thanks for the patience. 
> 
> I wrote this a while back and decided to publish it. Let me know what you think and if it maybe needs to be longer (?) 
> 
> Thank you for all your support ❤

Bill couldn't sleep. His mind was turning over a problem in his head and he really couldn't get it solved with Alec sleeping in the bed next to him. Alec was half the problem. He sighed heavily, shifting under the blankets uncomfortably and trying to find a position to rest in. The lamp light flicked on from the other side of the room. He looked up and saw that Alec was awake. 

"Sorry. Did I disturb you?" 

Alec shook his head. "Can't sleep much either." 

"Would you like some water?" 

"I'm fine." 

Alec's hair looked bronze with a faint ginger glow from the brightness of the globe. Bill sat up and fluffed his pillows so he can lean back against it. He could hear the intake of Alec's breaths, his nose was probably blocked and it made a slight wheezing sound as he blew out. Bill stared at Alec for a long while and Alec had his eyes closed until Bill filled the silence. 

"Don't worry about the job. I have contacts, I will make sure that you are the one to oversee my case." 

"Fat lot that will do," Alec muttered. 

"Hey! Don't say that." 

Bill pulled the covers off and placed his feet on the carpet floor. He only registered the fact that he only had on a white tee and blue striped boxers. He suspected that he didn't need to feel embarrassed that Alec saw him in a state of undress. I mean Alec was also in his underwear and it wasn't like he cared. 

"What am I supposed to do?" 

"Leave it to me. Alright?" 

Alec grumbled something under his breath. Before he realised it, Bill shot up and went towards Alec. He sat at the edge of his bed, Alec's long frame curled around his body. The younger man blinked back at him and his brows furrowed thickly in confusion. Bill didn't really know what he was doing and he thought that it was quite like what he did with Virginia. He came into his relationship with Virginia naturally, heeding nothing but his own desire. This was nothing if not similar. And this caused a shudder to run through him at the realisation. 

Bill's hand went out to reach for him. Alec let Bill touch his face. His eyes fluttered closed at the softness of his touch. His fingers lightly framed the one side of his face, his knuckles grazing over Alec's cheek. Bill ran his hand up and through the nest of hair, his fingers winding around, stroking his scalp for a bit before going back to caress his forehead. There was a hard crease of concentration formed between his brow and Bill placed his finger there. He padded it slowly. 

"You can breathe, you know." 

Alec let out the breath he had been holding. His body shivered from Bill's proximity although if asked he'd have blamed it on the temperature of the room. His eyes were still shut tightly terrified to move and have this disappear. The air around him quaked with heat from the affect of Bill's intimate gestures. Alec soaked the feel of it into his pores. He hummed under his breath as Bill glided his fingers along his jaw and over his stubble towards his lips. Bill's finger froze just above Alec's quivering lips. 

His mouth parted slightly, hot breaths fanning against his finger. Alec seemed to ask for something without words. Bill could read the way his shoulders shifted as if to prepare himself. Bill snatched in a quick breath and leaned over Alec. He shut his rational mind up as he ever so gently pressed his index finger on the plump flesh. He ran his thumb over and across his lips, back and forth, until Alec's chest was rapidly falling. Bill noted Alec's eyes were dilated now, the tension growing like a heated storm between them. Bill slipped the tip of his finger into his mouth, the warmth and wetness infused Bill and his own shoulders heaved with quick breaths. He pushed his finger further into Alec's mouth, testing the limits. Alec's eyes closed again and his tongue met with Bill's finger. He swirled his tongue around, licking stripes down the length before sucking on it. 

Bill gasped at the sensation and Alec kept sucking harder. Bill pulled his hand away earning a quizzical and vaguely scared look from Alec. Bill looked at him to say he definitely wasn't stopping now. He leaned forward again and kissed the top of Alec's forehead, down to his temple and then his cheek. He was being affectionate and Alec had no idea how to respond. The way his azure eyes twinkled in that moment with care for him had his throat closing up. Bill kissed along his jawline following the path his hands went before. Their breaths merged together. Neither of them moved any closer. This was the moment that would make or break them. 

Alec moaned low despite himself and closed the gap between their lips. Once their lips met Alec felt his entire body shudder and then melt as Bill's hand came to cup his face. His thumb stroked Alec's face as he kissed him. He savoured every touch of his lips. It was slow, delicate. Bill had never kissed a woman like this, let alone a man. He enjoyed the slide of their lips moulding together, the quiet gasps escaping Alec's mouth, the way his hands fisted into his shirt and clung to his shoulders. 

Alec seemed to crave more. He tugged on Bill's shirt and pulled him down to him. Bill was now laying on his side on the bed facing Alec who had turned his body to meet him. Their bodies were flush against each other. Alec's hand found the path to Bill's hair, his kisses getting more and more desperate. The urgency by the way he kissed let Bill know it was okay to slip his tongue inside of his mouth. Alec opened wider than expected and a surprised whine elicited from the back of his throat. Alec's one leg moved on it's own accord to cover Bill's waist. They fit together and the shock that rippled through Bill's body when their strained, tight underwear came together, had him pulling back. He breathed hard, his eyes lidded and his mouth open. Desire and lust flooded through Bill's eyes and Alec could see it. He wanted him. 

He knew what sex was. The one thing that he could never pin point was what made a person attractive to you. It was only supposed to be for procreation and at times also pleasure. Just a physiological response. When Bill bore into Alec's eyes he knew it was something else. He feared that Alec was experiencing depraved lust and affection. Anyone could have been in Bill's place right now and that angered him. He wanted it to be him. Only him. 

That scared him more than anything.


	6. Unexpected Pleasures

He was in the bathroom and he knew he shouldn't be doing this with Bill getting dressed on the other side of the door between them, but after last night's intimacies Alec needed release. He let the shower run cold over his back as he wrapped his hand around the shaft of his hardening cock. He cast his mind back to the taste of Bill's lips on his own. The grumble of his voice as he spoke to him after he pulled away. He was just as turned on as Alec was. He stroked himself to the images of Bill leaning over him, the touch of his finger, the look in Bill's eyes as he sucked on his thumb. He began breathing heavier. He slicked himself up with the water and jerked himself off. He flicked his wrist and bit back a moan when he recalled the way the outline of Bill's cock felt brushing against his own. 

"Shit," Alec whispered, coming unexpectedly all over the shower wall. 

He cleaned himself and the wall, washing the remnants of his forbidden pleasure down the drain. He didn't want to name what it was or admit his attraction to Bill Masters. He knew it would only cause problems. He had just lost his wife for Heaven's sake. He was obviously emotional and lonely. Alec being kicked off the case triggered that. There was no way Alec could carry on with the case now anyway even if Bill pulled some strings. He couldn't have a professional relationship with him after he had just jacked off to client under the roof he had offered him so graciously. 

Alec had not told Bill why he had slept in his car. It was his wife. She had kicked him out and told him that he couldn't see his daughter. They weren't really on speaking terms much he chose to stay in home town of Broadchurch and not with her in America. She said she wanted a divorce and that it wasn't working out anymore. Tess really was angry and he had never seen her this way before. He admitted that he was selfish, but he didn't want to live here. (Which was sort of a contradiction since he was living here now. Quite happily actually...) He offered for her and his daughter, Daisy, to stay with him. For vist every four months. Tess had refused. She probably had someone else by now. Who could blame her?

Alec always put his work before everything else. 

He towel dried his hair and slipped another larger towel around his waist. He realised that he didn't bring his clothes with him into the bathroom. He swore under his breath and gently opened the door, praying that Bill had already left the room. When he didn't see him, Alec scurried over to his suitcase and bent over it to find a shirt to wear. His towel fell to the floor as he searched for something clean and fresh. 

This was the exact moment Bill chose to come into the room again. 

Bill stopped in his walk to collect his watch that he had forgotten to put on this morning. His eyes trailed down Alec's pale back, the line of his spine protruding downwards and his bent over, his bare backside displayed. Bill couldn't tear his eyes away. He knew it was extremely inappropriate, especially since they had kissed last night. He intended to not speak of it again. He didn't need that kind of complication in his life and he was sure Alec agreed. Seeing Alec now made his legs quiver with the memory of what his body felt like in his arms. 

Bill had never really experienced longing before. He never knew he could be so intense. The desire to dip his tongue into the grooves of his spine, the dimples at base of his back, bit into the flesh of his...

"Bill?" Alec spluttered and he grabbed the towel and quickly placed it around his waist. "Sorry I was--" 

"No need to apologise. It's alright. Two grown men can see each other in this light and not be awkward. I am a doctor after all."

Expect it was awkward. Alec turned to face him and Bill noted the flush in his cheeks at being seen. His eyes shifted from his face to Alec's chest. Dark hairs were littered all over his breastbone and pectoral muscles and his narrow hips were still covered in faint water droplets. Bill hadn't particularly found the male form attractive, but he couldn't deny the affect an almost naked Alec had on him. His mouth suddenly grew dry as his mind consumed him in unwanted images of himself kissing down Alec's neck and chest. Biting at his stomach, running his tongue over the of trail hairs towards where the towel began. Bill cleared his throat and banished the intruding thoughts.

"I'm going to get my watch and let you change," Bill stated in a firm voice, more to himself than Alec. 

He had to control himself. 

Alec allowed him to get his watch and leave. He muttered things to himself, mostly grumbles about being more careful around Bill. He dried himself off properly and slipped on blue jeans and threw on a white button up shirt. As he was buttoning himself up he realised that some of the buttons had come loose. He had to leave three buttons undone at the top. He hoped it wasn't going to cause any more problems for him. 

Morning light filled the kitchen area and Bill had set out breakfast once again. This time it was toast, scrambled eggs and assorted jams with cheese and scones. He sat down to eat. Bill was reading the paper in their usual routine. 

"I called my friend at the precinct. He said he will try to see if he can arrange a meeting with your boss." 

Alec spread some cheese on a piece of toast. "That's really kind of you. I don't know what to say really. You've been really good to me." 

"Well I need you here. You've solving my wife's murder." 

"Is that all is then?" Alec tried to keep his tone steady. "We're not friends?"

"Friends. I'm your client." Bill gave a strained laugh. 

"Were you still my client when you kissed me?" 

Bill's bottom lip curled upwards. He averted his eyes from Alec. "That was..." His brows creased in thought. "That was a mistake." 

Alec swallowed. "I see." 

"I haven't had much err pleasure from my wife. So..." 

"I get it," Alec bit at him. 

"No. No, that's not--" He breathed in deeper, trying to explain. "My wife and I didn't do anything sexual with each other. Hell, we barely even talked. I don't really have any friends. I have my work and that's it. I didn't spend a lot of time with my son and I don't really want to. I know it sounds cruel, but I can never be a father. I have important things to do. You know what I do. I never had anyone that I care about as much as I do for you." 

"You care about me?" Alec's breath hitched. 

"I do. More than I want to admit. You can read that as you like I guess. Whatever happened last night was last night. You can decide where to take it or what to make of it."

"Don't you know why you kissed me?" 

"Don't you know why you kissed me back?" 

Alec flushed and cleared his throat. "I suppose I do." 

Bill's brow raised. "That so? And why did you?" 

"I care about you, too." 

"Care," Bill scoffed. "Care is such a loose word. Isn't it? We care about many things. People shouldn't be something we just care about. Our jobs shouldn't be something we just care about. We should want it. Desire it. Nurture it. Make sure it is treasured and protected." 

"Is that what you want to do with me? Treasure and protect me?" 

"Something along those lines, yes. I like having you here, Alec." 

"So it's not just about your wife's murder?" 

Bill pursed his lips in thought and drank down the last few sips of his coffee. "It was never about my wife's murder in the first place." 

"What do you mean?" Alec cocked his head to the side, his mind churning with questions. 

"I mean I don't actually want to know who killed her. It's messy and distracts me from my work. I loved my wife, but whatever happened to her happened. It's over. I just want to forget it all and move on. I will get you your job back. In all honesty I want you to keep your job so you can stick around for longer." 

"Where is all this coming from?" 

"I've known you close to a month now and I have grown really fond of you. You said you care about me and it got me thinking. I want you here and I want you to stay." 

"Because you're fond of me?" 

"Because no one has ever made me feel like you do. I want to know what that means." 

"Shall we find out together then?" 

"I think we should. This progressed naturally and I never let people in. I know you don't either. Whatever this is between us I'd like to explore it." 

***

That evening the car pulled up in the driveway and Alec found Bill walking inside with a letter in his hand. It had the stamp of the station on it. 

"I got it. You can continuing working here." 

"Thank you so much!" Alec smiled so widely his cheeks hurt and he took the letter from Bill. "This means a lot."

"I know. Now tell me, some of the men down there said that you had a wife and she's filing for a divorce. They told me to tell you to get a good attorney. When were you going to tell me?"

Alec shifted from foot to foot and looked down. His throat closed up and he took in a shaky breath. "She ended it just before I took this case. I came here to talk to her about it and she just pushed me out. That's why I slept in the car and I don't really have much credit record. I stay with my partner in Broadchurch, Miller. I call her Miller. I stay with her and her husband and son. It's a small town. She cancelled all our joint accounts we made while we were still married. I just wanted to stay in Broadchurch and she wanted to stay in America. You can imagine how she would feel about that. Anyway that's the story." 

"Come here." Bill put his arm around Alec and drew him in for a hug. Alec let himself be hugged. "I know where you can get a good attorney. It will be okay." 

"I know," Alec said. "I got you." 

Bill smiled and kissed the top of his head. "Yes. You do." He played with the amber strands of his hair and twirled it around his finger. "Listen, I really don't want to label this, but I think we need to know where we stand with each other." 

"I want whatever you want, Bill." 

He tugged some of Alec's hair behind his ear and stroked his finger along the stubble on his cheek. "I want what you want." 

"Then what do we both want?" Alec blinked slowly and his voice was soft, almost suggestive. 

Bill breathed deeply. "Do you want me?" 

"Do you want me?" Alec repeated. 

Bill's eyes darkened. "I think you know I do." 

He bent forward and captured Alec's lips for the second time. It was better than the first time. He kissed him equally as slow, but now with a purpose. He knew what he wanted and he chose not to deny himself. He licked into Alec's mouth and twisted his hand in his hair holding him in place. Alec gripped his waist and pressed their bodies together. Colours swirled behind his irises and Bill tipped his head back and kissed him until he was breathless and dizzy. Good Lord, that man could kiss!

"Bill," Alec gasped as Bill released him. 

"I think we should be getting to bed now. It's late." 

Alec stared after him as watched Bill walk to the bedroom. 

"Just to sleep," Bill said. "We can discuss those things at a later stage." 

Alec could barely walk straight from the thought of what most likely would happen between them. He followed Bill into the room and got ready for bed. He peeled off his shirt and slept in his underwear. He felt comfortable with Bill already. Bill did the same and they both laid on their sides staring at each other from across the room. 

"Do you think it's too soon?" Bill asked quietly. "I know I shouldn't move too fast. We've only kissed twice, but I feel that I may have overstepped my boundaries with that foolish comment." 

"No. It's okay. As you said we've only kissed twice. I'd like to get to know you more actually. If this is going to be a thing, like a real thing, then maybe you should take me to your work tomorrow. If you're okay with that. I want to know what the great Bill Masters does all day." 

"I'd like that. Goodnight, Alec." Bill smiled and switched off the light.


	7. 7: Wake Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written with my wonderful co-writer. Hope you enjoy! :)

It had been like a dream. Bill was actually happier than he had been in his entire life with Alec. Whatever they had, they didn't want to name. They were two old for lables anyway, but they knew how they felt about each other. With each passing day it only got stronger. The more they learned about each other, the more the feelings grew. Bill had never been an open man in general and he never shared anything about his past. Dark memories he rather would forget was better kept away from Alec. He didn't want him to know the man he was in his childhood. He didn't want him to know about how unkind he was to his late wife. Some things couldn't be kept a secret. They lived inside of you always there, like a cancer, growing undetected until something brings it out. 

***

Bill got up during the night and switched on the food mixer and record player. Alec woke up to find Billl in the lounge, the room full of noise. 

"What the fuck are you doing, Masters? Masters? Bill?" 

Bill stood in the room took next to the counter that led into the kitchen area with his back to Alec. Bill made no sign of acknowledgment to Alec's presence as the noise continued to drown out his protests. 

"Bill! This is madness. It's four in the bloody morning. I don't get up for another hour." 

Alec stepped towards Bill. He peered around to Bill's body to get a look at his face and sure enough Bill was sound asleep and yet restless. He was in distress, a crease between his brows. Alec stood in front of Bill, shock imminent on his face. 

"Bill," his voice softened. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

Alec was careful as he took Bill by the shoulders and led him back to the bedroom. Bill's sleep was undisturbed. Alec tiptoed back into the lounge and kitchen to switch off the record and mixer. 

He muttered to himself. "Sleep walking? Sleep walkers normally eat or perform a sort of routine. Why the noise? What did he want to cover up?" He stood in silence contemplating the possibilities of Bill's irregular sleeping habit. "God, you're even more broken than me." Alec laughed dryly, exhaling soon after. 

He knew Bill had his own demons he was struggling with and he often repressed them, but the fact that they surfaced at night, interrupting Bill's sleeping patterns, grabbing Bill back into the shadows was what kept Alec awake that night. He tossed around in the single bed, grinding his teeth while clawing at his hair. He needed to know. Not even the identify of Libby's murderer mattered to him as much as the mystery behind Bill's demons did. He turned on his side facing Bill's back. Bill's slumped figure rose and fell with each breath he took. 

A shudder and Bill's breath quickened, a sign that he was slowly waking up. Alec checked his watch on the bedside table. 5 AM. It had been an hour since Alec found Bill motionless in the lounge and it had been an hour of Alec racking his brain to understand Bill. Bill laid on his back and stretched his arms above his head. His bones cracked satisfyingly. He yawned and upon noticing Alec's gaze, he turned on his side to meet it. Bill smiled, the one corner of his mouth curving into a crescent shape. Alec blinked lazily, his eyelids begging to be fully shut. 

He cleared his throat. "You scared me last night. I woke up to find you blasting Mozart or somethin'. Do you...want to talk about it?" 

Bill stared blankly back at Alec. His face paled, blending in with the ghostly sheets that he bunched together in his fist. Alec took the response as a no. 

"Bill, there's obviously something on your mind. It's why it controlled your subconscious mind." 

Bill hissed, "don't talk as if you know what you are talking about." 

Alec shot up, kicking the blankets off himself and towered over Bill. "I don't know anything about neurology and all that but I do know when the mind starts controlling the body to cope. I know about that! Just...what is on your mind?" 

The question hung in the air unanswered, leaving the two men to stare at each other. Alec was patient and parted his lips to tell Bill he didn't have to reply, either at all or not that very minute, but Bill beat him to it. 

"My...er...my mother. She used to bake a lot. Almost...almost every day. Er. She'd play...she'd switch on the record player really loudly. That's the problem. See, she'd do it so she wouldn't have...wouldn't have to...so that my dad could not be heard while he...he...he..." 

The confession was starting to make Bill physically sick. His voice was strained and his lips were torn open from the endless attacks unleashed upon them as he struggled to find words. His eyes stung and pearls of liquid shone, leaving a trail in their wake. Bill's eyes darted around the room to keep focus on anything except Alec's gaze. Bill sat upright, body stiff and rigid with emotions coursing through his veins. Alec couldn't bear to look at anything but Bill. His gaze was solely fixed on him in disbelief. His legs faltered and he stepped back till his legs hit the bed frame. He collapsed onto his bed, his elbows resting on his thighs and his hands covering his mouth. He was shaking his head almost wildly. 

Bill laughed bitterly through the pain. "Don't pity me. I don't want it." His voice cracked, rising an octave higher. 

"I'm not pitying you. I just can't believe...I mean who would..." he sighed in defeat of trying to find the right words. "You're not the only one with a cross on your back I suppose I have to tell you, it would have come out eventually. I suffer from heart arrhythmia, but it's been good the last two years. I have a pacemaker." 

Bill nodded. "I know what that is. I know I can't say anything to that either. I will support you though. Anything you need, Alec." 

"Same here. I'm here for you." 

Alec walked towards Bill again and leaned in to cradle his face. He kissed him softly, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. Bill sighed in relief. 

"Thank you, Alec."

"No problem, Bill."


	8. 8: Only You

Bill carded his hands through his hair aggressively. When he decided to take Alec to his office today he really did not expect his assistant, Ms. Stiles and his colleague Virginia Johnson to blurt out all of his secret sex work and accidentally let on that Bill himself had been part of the study. Now Alec knew that he and Virginia had taken part in the tests on their own. Together. As if they were a couple. Copulating. Good God, this was a fuck up. 

"You fucked her? Through your marriage you fucked your colleague and said it was 'for the study'! Bollocks! You are still sleeping with her, aren't you? Am I another one of your studies? Take a seemingly straight man and flirt with him? Feed him muffins! Play on his self pity and then kiss him so he feels a little better about his self worth. Say you want to get to know him and begin something new. Now the man feels hope, but it's all part of your plan, isn't it? Fuck you!" 

"Alec, let me explain," Bill pleaded. 

"No. I'm done. I'm packing my things and I'm leaving." 

"No! I'm not letting you go!" Bill went forward to grab Alec.

"Bastard! Let go of my arm!" Alec spat at Bill, salvia dripping down his chin. His eyes were narrowed, his fists at his side clenching and unclean ching. 

Bill's bottom lip stuck out in the way it did when he got angry. His eyes were clouded in a storm of fury. His hands were balled into fists too and his nostrils flared at Alec like a bull who saw only red. 

"What do you want from me?" Bill shouted. "This is for my work. I worked twenty years to be able to do my study. I got the best job in Fertility. I have money, contacts, respect. I helped more women give birth than you had cases in your life! I got myself a wife, a good home. Sucked up to colleagues that were beneath me because I wanted to persue my life long dream doing my sex research. They said it couldn't be done. That I was mad and many still think that. The only person that believed in me was AJ Stiles. She is the only one! And...and...and after meeting you I thought you'd be someone I could confide in. After all I have told you about my work and myself," his voice trailed off into a soft tone that was drenched with the voice of a broken man. "I thought you accepted me. What I do is extremely important to me. Above everything else." 

"I can see that," Alec mocked, although his voice cracked at the end. "You would sacrifice your job, your marriage. Imagine how your wife must have felt when you were out late at night fucking some woman for 'science'. You're sick." 

"What I do for my work is none of your concern. That was before I even met you. What happened in my marriage and in the past is exactly that, in the past. I cannot believe you'd hold that against me. You of all people. I never had intimacy with my wife. Not like with---" 

Bill cut himself off, biting his lip furiously. He laughed under his breath and averted his eyes away from Alec. 

"What? What? Like with that woman you claim to have sex with from work? Did she please you better Bill?" 

Bill shook his head in disbelief. "You're so stupid," he whispered. 

"What did ya say?" He bit back. 

Bill spoke louder. "I said you are so stupid."

"Why?" 

Bill flailed his arms up in the air. "Because it's you! You fucking idiot. Work is work. Sex with my partner is only for my study. Only that! I never looked at my wife the way I look at you without you even laying a finger on me. The way..." He swallowed hard. "The things you do to me. You have no idea. I never had that with anyone. I am not an affectionate person. I hid that part of myself...for a really, really, really long time. I couldn't feel anything. And now..." 

Alec breathed in so hard Bill was afraid he was going to pass out. There was a tension filled silence. Alec didn't know if he could meet Bill's eyes he swore he could feel the emotion rolling off of him, searing into his skin. He dared not think of what it all meant. He desperately tried to ignore his own rapid heartbeat and twisting jolt running through his veins that could only be described as happiness. Bill cautiously watched Alec's movements, growing fearful he had said too much. Alec came to stand in front of him. It still amazed Bill how much taller Alec was. 

"William," Alec spoke his full name tenderly and held him by his neck to pull him in for a hug. 

Bill wrapped his arms tightly around his body, pressing him with all his strength against his chest. They stood like that holding each other for a while. Both of them held back their tears under the crack of their persona. Their shoulders shuddered together, their hands dripping each other akin to a life raft. They both had been at sea under the treacherous storms and rain clouds for many years. 

These fragments that kept them afloat were their desires for someone to understand, to support them, to shield them and help them become stronger. They had fought within themselves and against their own lack of love, their suffering and inner turmoil. There was a fine line between surviving and going under. 

Bill sank into Alec's neck trying to figure out a way to hold him closer and keep him with him. Alec Hardy was the one that kept him afloat. He was his fragments, the bits that kept him together, the best parts of him. Alec was the fragments that shored against his ruins. He would do anything to have him stay by his side. 

"It'll be okay," Bill murmered against his skin. 

For the first time in Alec's life, he believed it.


	9. For All The Times

In the six months Alec and Bill had been together, Alec had uncovered the mystery that brought Alec into Bill's life. He was an excellent detective and the murderer was surprisingly one of Bill's past colleagues who was always jealous of Bill's success and his relationship with Virginia. Bill praised Alec on this triumph of closing the case and treated him to some homemade dinner with a bottle of the best champagne. After their meal and usual delightful conversation, they retreated to the lounge and listened to some records which was their evening routine. 

Bill was reading the paper while Alec was busy with a sudoku puzzle. Once Bill had finished reading, he folded his paper. He went over to Alec's couch and sat on the armrest. Alec placed his pencil and puzzle book down onto the table. Bill loomed over him, his breath ghosting against his lips. 

His voice was soft. "I want to kiss you." 

Alec could see the flutter of Bill's eyelashes. The deep desire in his voice. His breaths came out in eager pants as he nodded. Bill could sense Alec's presence like a furnace below him, his heat radiating through him. He held his breath as Alec's lips pressed softly against his. His coarse beard tickled Bill's chin and the slide of their lips was effortless in a way that neither of them had experienced before. It was like they knew what each other wanted, where they moved, what direction to go, as if they had learned the path and were following a map that both had discovered long ago. This felt right, Bill realised. All that worrying and confusion for nothing. 

Bill reached up and tangled his hands into Alec's messy hair. 

Alec swallowed hard. "Let's go into the bedroom..." 

***

(Two hours later)

Alec was panting out his mouth. His naked body gleamed with sweat as he stared up at the man looming over him. A single finger that started at his wrist (which was chained to the bed post) and traced all the way down to his ribs made him shiver and jerk upwards. He never expected to be in this position, let alone with Bill fucking Masters. Bill's eyes held a gleam of mischief and lust. A small smile played on his lips as he slowly undressed in front of Alec and straddled him. His blue gaze was fixed on him and his body tingled in anticipation. Bill's mouth latched onto his neck, licking all along his collarbone down to Alec's nipples. He squeezed it with his forefinger and thumb, twisting it, making Alec cry out. 

"You are going to come like this with just my mouth on your nipples. If you don't come I wont slip inside of you and fuck you like you so badly want me to." 

Alex whined at the back of throat, his body shuddering as the intensity rose him higher into pleasure. Bill played with his nipples making Alec throw his head back against the pillow, his hips wanting to buck but Bill's body was weighing him down. Alec struggled to keep his eyes open. He bit harshly at the flesh of his lip. 

"Come on. Come for me. I will not fuck you unless you come." 

Alec moaned loudly and opened his eyes to find Bill stroking himself. He was hard in his hand, his fingers stroking slowly as his other hand twisted Alec's nipple. The action and seeing Bill in that state made him just about lose it. Bill's lips were red and parted. His eyes fixed on Alec, the blue irises darkened in arousal. Alec felt himself ready to burst and Bill began to pump himself faster. They were both on the brink of pleasure. Alec was so close to slipping over the edge when Bill suddenly changed positions and pushed into Alec's entrance with a roughness that made both of them cry out. He imbedded into him deeply and Alec yanked at the chains. It took only two strokes for Alec to spill out onto Bill's stomach. Bill came as well and Alec could feel the hot liquid drip from his hole onto the mattress. 

Bill groaned. "I'm not done with you yet." 

He got up and unlocked Alec's handcuffs. He pulled Alec gently up and moved his trembling legs off the bed and placed his feet on the ground so Alec was sitting up. His hair was standing up in all directions, the chestnut tendrils falling over his face, his hair damp with sweat, his body glistening in the light. Bill bent down to his knees in front of him. He traced his hands across his thighs and squeezed them. His tongue darted out to lick the liquid that Alec spilt on himself. Alec shivered as his tongue licked his aching cock, cleaning it. He dipped into the crevasses between his thighs and groin. Bill ducked his head lower and Alec gasped loudly, his hips jumping when he felt Bill's tongue by his hole. He swirled his tongue around him. He lapped up all the liquid and then inserted it inside. Alec bit down onto his lip and pulled at Bill's hair. 

"I am going to make you climax like this again. Don't make a sound. I will stop touching you if you even so much as whimper." 

Alec sucked in a harsh breath and tightened his lips together. He used his grip on Bill's hair to hold himself together. He yanked and tugged, trying desperately to keep quiet as Bill played inside him with his tongue. He tore through his lip so hard it bled. He came with a heavy collapse of his limbs and fell back onto the bed. He struggled to catch his breath as he moaned over and over again even after he was done. 

Bill landed on top of him and kissed his neck softly. His breaths were ragged, the warm air tickling over Alec's wet skin. His hands threaded through Alec's hair, pushing it out of his face. Bill's voice came out in a rough whisper. His tone stern and ardent with desire and something else. Something they had not discussed out loud yet up until this moment but it was something that they both just instantly knew. 

"I will love you so thoroughly that you will forget all the times you had sex before, all the times you kissed other people and liked and didn't like it. For the all the times you made love to your wife and had to finish yourself off in the bathroom when she fell asleep. With each thrust as I push myself in you I will prove to you that you have never ever been with anyone before like this and you never will again. I will worship you and let you experience pleasure again and again until you are soothed from the pain of the past. I will make you feel loved, Alec. Physically and mentally. Because that is what I do. What you do when you love someone."

Alec panted hard. He breathed in deeply, gazing into his eyes. "I love you, Bill." 

"And I love you, Alec."

Bill kissed the top of his head and rolled Alec into his arms.


End file.
